I just can’t help it..

Filed under Victory and Trials… 

Geez, I've been crying the whole night yesterday until morning comes. I just can't help it because I was extremely hurt of my decision. The result??? my eyebugs are swelling..eeww..it sucks…and I still have classes to attend to. OMG!!! But it does not end there, just this morning this special person whom I broke up with, went to our home and we talked. He never surrendered. I just can't help myself of being honest of how I really feel. When the fact is, I still love him so much and I knew deep inside that I would be happier if we will be together. So, "wala nako nagpakipot kipot pa..gisugot nako xag balik.." and that's it. We're okay now. I just hope that this will never happen to this extent again. OMG, it's very painful…very much…but at this moment, I no longer have that feeling. I pondered and thanks for a friend in myLot community who shared me with her experience. I was moved and awakened that maybe I was just so insecure with the relationship and is very much looking forward for a 'perfect' love, where in fact, there's no such thing as perfect in this world. Well, it just pays off to be dead honest to yourself. Well, that's me. I knew I loved him still and will always will, so why make myself suffer. Honestly, I was so grateful when he arrived home early in the morning and explicitly have shown me that he doesn't and never wanna give up on us. 

—–this is the snapshot of Liyan's message in myLot—–

"I feel that it was my expectations of him and a “perfect” relationship that had me questioning and doubting things that he worked so hard to show me! After two years we ended up breaking it off because he said he couldn’t take it anymore! He felt that I have finally pushed him away with my insecurities! At first I believed that it was all a lie, that he was the one trying to push me away so that he can pursue another woman, but in the end I was the one who was wrong!"

Click here to read more of that message>>> 

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I guess it’s the end….

Goodness, I won't be blogging that love revives me again but what I'll be blogging about is that Grace has been revived and with a stronger heart. This is the heaviest decision I've made. I said goodbye to someone so dear to me. I'm tired. I could no longer hold on wherein I'm really holding on for nothing. I was bumped and awakened, that this is enough. I've been slaved with this love, I forgot myself, i lost myself…I'm no longer in control of my feelings. I guess it would be better to end up everything.

For you,

You mean so much to me. And I was grateful for I have known you,and once be part of my life. Thanks for making me happy and thanks for all the pains because you taught me how to be strong. I admit I broke up with you even I knew deep inside I still have this love for you. Well, nothing won't stop me from loving you. I will always will. It's just that my heart is tired of crying for your attention, for your care and above all for your love. My heart is tired of being neglected.It's already very tired. I'm not happy anymore with what's happening around. I guess we would just have to end this up. Geez, I'm holding on for nothing. But, thanks for the years,months of being together. I won't ever forget it. You'll always have that space in my heart. I've never fallen as such as this…I've never been hurt as such as this and I've never been so happy as such as when we started to belong together. But, goodbyes always have their places and it s own time. I guess this is it. I guess this is a goodbye to you…And I guess it's the end… iloveyou…

For me:

Be strong! I will, I can and I must!!!